GRACE

 in one day I drive past a coyote, a skunk, a fawn

each felled in a flash of inattention or perhaps

of strategic deliberation and I can see the wind

lifting the fur as the car speeds past, their grace

 hovering over them even in death, and

every night I petition the Ancient of Days

supplication for all without voices, for their comfort

for eternity more blissful than anyone supposed.

I WANT TO BELIEVE

I once read in a book on astrology that for mothers who wish their babies never had to grow up, if their babies are born under the sign of Pisces then those moms will have their wish.  Well, I am a Pisces and I have to admit it's true.  A part of me still believes in magic, fairies, unicorns, and Santa Clause (as a child in my ultra-conservative Christian home Santa was never allowed) along with all things that might make life better and more interesting.

Four years ago at the Democratic National Convention, I heard Barack Obama's speech and I said to my family as we watched it live and to my friends as we watched it on tape afterward, "I hope this man runs for president."  I never imagined, however, that he would be running in the very next election.  Nevertheless, I'm glad he is, because I want to believe in his words.  I want to believe he will end this imperialistic war that has put our country so much deeper into debt, that has been such a boon for corporations like Haliburton, and that has cost so many young lives.  I want to believe he will end or greatly reduce the influence of lobbyists in Washington, and that he will bring health care to every American.  I want to believe that he will renegotiate NAFTA and initiate steep penalties against corporations who outsource American jobs overseas.  The list goes on and on, but if ever there was a time for change, it is now.

For the past couple of years or so, my husband's plant where he has worked for the past twenty-three years has been on the chopping block.  Each time I pray and it survives.  Barely.  This time, I found out yesterday, it survived again, but the plant is going to lose a third of its business, so it's really just a matter of time.  It's doubtful the economy can turn around in time to save it.  The really sad thing here is that I know we are the lucky ones.  Millions of Americans have already lost their jobs, jobs they worked at for over twenty years, just like my husband, jobs that have been outsourced to other countries so the corporations can continue to make record profits and their CEOs can receive yearly bonuses of several million on top of salaries of several million.  I am heartsick over the direction Bush and his Neo-Con minions have taken this country.  I want to believe it's not too late.   

Well, I finally have crocuses blooming-- March 28th must be some kind of record!  It's certainly the latest blooming of them I can ever remember!  So I decided to mark the occasion with a new background!!  And my daffodils have swollen buds on them-- maybe they will bloom tomorrow.  Also, my white lilac is budding out-- I hope it doesn't get frozen in this crazy weather we've been having.  We've had hail the past two days!!  Of the seeds I've started indoors, I have numerous four o'clocks up already and it's been less than a week since I planted them.  Still no sign of the morning glories, lobelia or sweet peas.  I always worry until they poke their little shoots up, and sometimes my worries are well-founded.  I'm hoping I don't have to start again with them this year!

There are three things I have always especially loved about the place we've lived for the past fifteen years.  The first is that every spring our backyard is filled with violets!  (They have always been one of my favorite flowers.)  I'm sure this is due in part to the fact that from our backdoor to the woods beyond is only about thirty feet.  The woods are the second thing I love about this place, along with the little stream (a run-off, really) that marks the end of our yard and the beginning of the woods.  The third thing is that some summers there are two frogs that come out at night and sit on my kitchen window pane to catch the bugs that are drawn by the light.  I dearly love those frogs, even though I don't see them every year (and probably don't see the same ones year after year!!).  My kitchen window looks out onto our deck which overlooks the backyard and the woods, so they must come up from the creek, or else they live in my flowers.  But they get used to me and soon realize I won't harm them.  I even sit on the deck beside the window while they catch their bugs.

There are also many squirrels and rabbits which my big dog loves to chase but can never catch.  They are very entertaining.  Also, cardinals, bluejays, crows, sparrows and, my favorites, hummingbirds!!  They LOVE my flowers!!  We also see the occasional snake, raccoon, possum, wild turkey or deer.  I feel very lucky to have so much wildlife just outside my backdoor!!

Anne is coming home again tonight.  Two weekends home in a row is a rare thing.  This is the end of her Spring Break week, but she has had to work all week so she didn't get to stay at home.  She called this morning to tell me that the teapot she ordered for my birthday should be delivered today.  I'm so excited!  She insisted I pick it out and I chose one with violets all over it.  I can't wait until she gets here!  We will have tea in my new violet covered teapot!!