November and Thanksgiving reminds me that I have a  lot to be thankful for. Reflecting on past holidays is bittersweet at times. As years go by and family and friends no longer gather at the table. This is when warm memories can truely fill our heart. Reminiscing is a lasting joy.

     Growing up in WV I have many memories of my paternal grandmother who had a small farm and raised turkeys, cows, and pigs. The fall was slaughtering time. I can still see the beef hanging from the tree in the back yard. Often it snowed at Thanksgiving. Grandma had 9 children so the house was always full. My mother cooked the dinners at grandmothers and I was the official stuffing taster. I would taste the moist uncooked stuffing oozing with butter and turkey fat and tell her if the dressing needed more salt or sage. She would make me a patty and fry it for for me to eat at breakfast time. I still make patties with left over dressing and fry it. I love the crisp edges.

     A few years ago my husband Don woke up very early on Thanksgiving morning and put the turkey in the the oven before I was awake. When I got up around 8:00am I discovered the trukey was done. We were eating alone that day so I got busy and fixed the trimmings and we ate Thanksgiving dinner around 9:00 am that day. I still laugh when I think about it.

     I am thankful for many things this holiday, my health, my family, and all my wonderful friends. Have a blessed thanksgiving.

Hello Everyone,

     I have not been here much in the past few months. Life happens. I am now a full time caregiver because my husband is entering moderate stage of Alzheimer's disease. Here is a poem I wrote that expresses some of my feelings.

Alzheimer's Disease

I have found an uninvited guest in our home.

Oh, at first she was sly like a fox,

Showing up briefly but with slow determination.

Then little by little snatching away what was ours.

Now I find myself alone with you beside me and this unwanted guest.

You are with me but I miss you, alive but not here.

Here but gone at the same time.

Such an ambiguous loss.

There is no closure like in death.

Each day I grieve over another loss and your former self.

Then feel guilty because it is not all about me.

I am letting go, hanging on

And at the same time, trying to live with ambiguity.